When Life is Out of My Control

Well guys, after my unintentional month long break from blogging, I have decided to come back! Life is a little topsy turvy right now, so pardon my sometimes heavy, sometimes confusing posts that I'm sure will come. First off, I'm a senior. And it's scary. My rock-solid plan is starting to fall through and my "12 hrs is easy!" semester is quickly getting filled up! I came into this year wanting to spend my time really building relationships and friendships, and I'm doing a bad job. To the people I've blown off already or those that I haven't quite been super friendly to: I'm sorry! All that to say, I am super pumped about this year. God is at work - in my life, in the lives of my friends, and all around - and that brings a smile to my face no matter what my day holds. Not to say I haven't had any breakdowns already, but at least I'm living life to the fullest - I'm sure feeling ALL the emotions.

In addition to school I am taking an active part in my Church this year and I am sooo excited. I'm having the opportunity to invest in people and also be discipled by older/wiser people. I'm also joining the worship band!! I'll be playing keyboard occasionally during college hour. I feel rather unqualified and not cool enough, but I'm secretly really excited :) Also somehow I feel like so many people are all of a sudden crossing paths with me - and I love it! I've had the chance to meet a bunch of new freshmen and I'm also being able to spend more time with people I've known for a while but never really got to spend time with. I just want to give up school and hang out with people! So this year will be about learning to be a people person - learning how to talk and carry a conversation ;) , remembering to text/talk to people, going all-in for relationships. That last one is hard. Too often I worry that people don't actually like me, so I stay guarded and awkward. But someone once told me that if you never feel pain you aren't loving well. So here's to loving well!

I'm also going back in time to when I didn't have a car. The wonderful vehicle that I was given in February is sitting right now in a wrecker lot. I was hit a couple weeks ago and my car had to be towed, there was no way I was driving it home. Thankfully no one was injured! But my poor car will probably never be driven again. Considering it's worth $500, we're pretty sure the insurance will total it when they finally get their act together and take care of my claim. So for now I am car-less and am having the joy of asking people for rides all the time. I went to clean my bike today and start using it, but my tires don't hold air anymore. FIGURES! haha, at least it cooled off somewhat this weekend so that walking is more enjoyable.

So! Senior year has started out with a bang! It's been fun - dancing, movies, climbing on bridges, great conversations, lots of froyo. And it's been crazy - car wrecks, forgetting assignments, unintentionally ignoring people, and firefox crashing about 20 times. Also much running! My goals are a 10k at thanksgiving and a half marathon in March! There's no stress reliever like pounding the pavement. So here goes a life-changing year!

I've had the most amazing summer anyone could ever have

Guys. I can't even put into words how happy, blessed, amazed I feel right now. I am currently driving to my new home with my family from our family reunion in Arizona. It's pretty much the end of my summer. I leave for school in a week, so this week will be spent unpacking, resting, and packing again. I need to wind down and prepare for senior year. But I'm going to this "home" I've never been to, so hopefully I will be able to find some peace and rest.

I made it home from Europe in one piece - despite leaving 2 days early - and was picked up and taken care of by my bestie Olivia. The last few days in Innsbruck were spent preparing for the final recital and doing a good bit of shopping. I went way overboard on souvenirs. And since I skipped out on the trip to Italy, I bought myself a cute outfit - yay! Friday night I spent in Munich at a Marriott and it was wonderful! I received free room service, wifi, and breakfast - in addition to a comfy bed and a tv on which to watch the opening ceremony of the Olympics. The next day I made my flight (upgraded to economy comfort!), made it through customs really easily, and arrived home in the U.S. super happy to be here. Though I miss Europe incredibly much!

Monday I had a couple doctors appointments that went not so great - but I was so glad to be at MY doctor who was an American, haha. My family was already in Arizona at the reunion so I was still on my own, but my friends took really good care of me. Tuesday the three of us hung out then I went to the airport - I was SO ready to get to my family!! Well, I arrived in Nashville to find a 3 hour delay - I almost lost it there in the gate area. But I eventually made it to Phoenix where my dad was waiting and then we headed to the resort after stopping for burgers at In-N-Out.

The family reunion was with my dad's parents and 5 of his 8 sisters. I had SUCH a great half week there. It was soooo good to see family that live far away. And I got to hang out with my cousins that I get to see far too infrequently. We hiked, played cards, had wii dance and karaoke tournaments and went out for icees. I drove my cousin's truck, we won a game of pool, and we made giant s'mores. And some of us stayed up talking til 4 this morning. Good times. AND I'm still Ross's favorite. Wow. All in all I feel so very loved after the reunion.

After I get home and upload pictures and such I will post a Europe trip re-cap. So many amazing experiences that I can't wait to share!

A Little Update

Hi guys, I had such an adventure yesterday that I have to share. I got up in the morning and decided to go back to the doctor to get some stronger medicine for this migraine that won't go away. Unfortunately, migraine medicine is really difficult to get a hold of. All I want is some excedrin! Anyways, the doctor seemed concerned that the meds he gave me earlier didn't help and that I was still having some vision problems. So he sent me to the hospital. Yep. When he first said that, I almost laughed out loud because I thought he was joking, then when it hit me I just about burst into tears. But I maintained composure and asked if I should just wait til I get to the states on Monday. No, he wants to know right away. So I spent my morning yesterday in the neurological ER here in Innsbruck. I received a full neurological examination, blood work and an MRI. I came away with no bruise on my arm from the IV, which is amazing because I always get HUGE bruises on my arm whenever I get blood drawn. Anyways, everything was of course absolutely normal. So they wanted me to stay at least one might in the hospital for observation. Ha! No way José. Fortunately they let me sign something and leave - with zero charges. Everything was free. I was so shocked. The whole time I was there I couldn't stop thinking about how much damage I was going to do on my dads emergency credit card because of a stupid headache. But thanks to European socialized medicine, I haven't had to pull out the plastic yet. They gave me some kind of medicine through the IV that made the rest of the day seem like a blur though. I was so drowsy and out of it, I slept pretty much from 5pm to 8 this morning with a nap earlier in the afternoon too. Anyways, my European experience has included the health care system, so I'm getting a well-rounded picture I guess. I do have to say that God is watching out because it's possible my doctor at home would want an MRI when I get back, and my family is between insurance. So I might as well get it done while its free!

I only have a couple days left here and I am going to do my best to enjoy it. On my to-do list is: get apple strudel, get gelato, buy souvenirs/gifts, get an item of European clothing. I think that's it. Oh, and stay out of the hospital, haha.

Hello! So much for a travel blog, right? Internet does not work at my hostel so I have been stuck checking emails real quick at the bus stop! So that means no access to blog! I am here in Innsbruck for the piano academy and it is going really well. I have been dealing with migraines though which has been incredibly frustrating. But the mountains are amazing and I am enjoying all the time simply dedicated to piano playing. I'm getting excited for my senior recital! Anyways, Austria is lovely and I will post more if I get a chance. There are so many stories to tell!

Vienna is lovely

Oh how I love it here! It is the end of day 3 in Vienna and I have one day left to enjoy the city. I have crammed as much as possible into my time here and I am exhausted! So far my favorite thing has just been walking around. All the buildings are beautiful but then you turn a corner and run into something magnificent! Today I did some shopping. I just walked around a few of the different main shopping streets and came home with a couple souvenirs. I also walked around the park that's right next to my hotel and saw the golden statue of Johann Strauss.

I am beginning to get comfortable with getting around and doing things like ordering food. Yesterday I told my brother that the worst thing here was trying to eat. Restaurants here are confusing! I went into one the first night I was here and stood at the front for several minutes and no one seated me. So I left. The next day I figured you just sit down, so I did. Well no one ever came to get my order. So I left again, haha. Since that I've stuck to cafes mostly. I don't even need English anymore to get food :) though I still pretty much feel stupid all of the time. Oh well. People are mostly nice and helpful.

Also, I finally checked out the executive lounge today. Since Dad booked my reservation and he is platinum level at the Hilton, I am enjoying the executive floor and all its privileges. That includes free food and drink upstairs in the lounge. Sweet!

Okay, I'm going to sleep now so that I can get the most out of tomorrow. I might cry when I have to leave.

Europe

Internet access is limited until I get to Innsbruck on Sunday, so my blogs will be short. I'm about to go to dinner so here is the email I sent to my parents last night when I got in.

Well I made it! What a stinkin long flight! And I could NOT sleep. So much for depriving myself last night so that I would be tired. And then the 3 hour wait for the 4 hour train ride. But! I am safe in the Hotel now.
I have to say, it was a little frightening trying to get around at first. SO many people just came up to me talking German and I just panic-like said "English". Haha. Maybe I don't scream tourist? Doubt it. And I'm pretty sure I got lectured on the S-bahn, though I have no idea why because I couldn't understand her then she walked off. I think it was cuz I had my feet on the empty seat across from me. Woops.
I got to walk around Vienna some this evening in the rain trying to find food. But I have figured out the subway and even helped two ppl who asked me for help! Haha. SO many ppl just come up to me and start speaking German.

Yep that was basically my day. I could share all the little details - but that would be a lot!

Today I visited schöbrunn palace an walked through the gardens. It was great. Now I am just exploring the city on foot. I ran into Beethoven and Goethe statues! And got up the courage to go into shops (with a grüss gott greeting) and a grocery store. I got chocolate and "juicy water". Hooray! Also I found out that the film festival will be showing der freischutz and the phantom of the opera the next two nights. Exciting! Okay, that's all for now. Check out my instagram for pics: jocelise

Guest Post!!

Hey guys, here's another GREAT post from my good friend and roommate. I absolutely love what she is saying here! Enjoy!

Bonjour. I really don’t know any French besides “hello.”  Actually, that’s a lie.  I can say ham sandwich. “Croque monsiour.” If I’m feeling really adventurous, I can say “ham sandwich with cheese.” “Croque monsior con fromage.”  But that’s it. “Hello” and “ham sandwich.”

So. How was your day? I really want you to think about this question.  I’m not asking it in the passing sort of I-don’t-know-what-to-say-to-you-because-I-wasn’t-expecting-to-see-you-so-I’m-going-to-politely-ask-you-how-your-day-was-and-hope-you-don’t-answer-with-something-more-than-good kind of way.

 I’m really asking you, “How was your day?”

 Did you smile at a stranger?  Did you pick up that piece of trash on the ground, saving the life of an innocent squirrel who would have mistaken it for an afternoon snack?  Did you pause for a few minutes to admire the beauty of nature?  Did you make a difference in the world?

 I think we often live too much for day-to-day.  We say we are living in the present, living life to the fullest, yada yada yada...but are we? I know I’m not.  I wake up, go to class, come home, eat lunch, meet this person, meet that person, make dinner, activity #1 from this time to this time, TV show from this time to this time, clean my desk, get ready for bed, set alarm, recharge for next day.  I plan everything.  Now, I’m not telling you to go and be spontaneous and jump off a bridge...I don’t want to be responsible for any injuries.  But, I am asking you to examine your life. 

 A quote that often inspires me is, “Do one thing everyday that scares you.”  I think that’s incredibly motivating.  It’s not saying, “Do one thing everyday that compromises your morals and puts you at a higher risk for a premature death.” One thing that scares you.  Saying hi to somebody scares me.  It doesn’t matter if I know the person or not.  The same questions run through my head when I am confronted with the opportunity to say hi to somebody: “What if they don’t see me?” “What if other people see the person not say hi to me and think I have no friends?” “What if the person says hi to me only because they feel sorry for me?” “What if they’re embarrassed to be associated with me?”  It seems almost silly, typing out all of these dumb things that roll through my head.  Sometimes I just want to flick my little inner conscience and give it a bag of chocolate.  Tell it to be a little more positive.  Really, who cares what they think of me?  I should be thinking about how I can brighten their day by saying hi to them.  I need to do my one thing that is scary so that they have the courage to do theirs.

 So, that’s all I’ve got for you.  How was your day? Did you do something that scared you? Will you wake up tomorrow ready to carpe some diem?  I hope so, ‘cause I’ll be right there with you. :)

~Maddie